英语小笑话大全爆笑带翻译（精选8篇）

　　笑话一般比较短小,喜剧性很强,普遍存在于人们的日常生活中。笑话的娱乐作用可以减轻人的心理压力,促进身体健康。小编精心收集了英语小笑话大全爆笑带翻译（精选8篇），供大家欣赏学习!

英语小笑话爆笑带翻译 篇1

　　While the doctor was looking over the man, his wife kept fussing(烦躁，发牢骚) andjabbering(快而含糊地说) all the time. The doctor told her: "Your husband must get absolute rest and quiet." Then he left some sleeping pills.

　　The man's wife asked, "When do I dive them to my husband?" The doctor replied, "No, they are not for him. They are for you. You need them."

　　有个人生病了。他的妻子请了一位医生来给他治病。

　　医生在给他治疗的时候，他的妻子一直大惊小怪，神神叨叨地紧张不安。医生对她说：“你的丈夫必须绝对休息和保持安静。” 然后他就留下了一些安 眠药。

　　她问医生：“什么时候给我丈夫吃这些药呀!”医生回答说：“不用，这些药不是给他吃的，是给你吃的，你需要。”

英语小笑话爆笑带翻译 篇2

　　She was so excited and anxious to tell him. She said, "I've bought two presents for your birthday, dear. I would tell you now because I can't wait until that day. One present is a mat to put in front of my dressing table. Another one is a bronze statuette(小雕像) for the drawing room mantelpiece." And then she added: "Now me?"

　　Her husband thought for a while and then replied: "I'd better get you a new razor and some ties, so that we may exchange presents with each other."

　　有个女人给她的丈夫买了生日礼物。

　　她很激动，并且急于要告诉她的丈夫。她说：“亲爱的.，我买了两样东西给你做生日礼物。我现在就要告诉你，因为我等不得到那一天才说。一件礼物是一个地垫，可以放在我的梳妆台前。另一件是一个青铜的小雕像，可以放在客厅的壁炉架上”她还说：“好啦，你准备给我买什么呢?”

　　她的丈夫想了一会就说：“我最好是给你买一个刮胡刀和几条领带。这样我们就可以互相交换礼物了。”

英语小笑话爆笑带翻译 篇3

　　A private didn't notice a young lieutenant and failed to salute him. The lieutenant said sternly, "You did not salute me. For this you must immediately salute one hundred times."

　　Just then the general came up. When he saw the poor private about to begin, he exclaimed, "What's all this?"

　　The lieutenant explained, "This ignoramus(无知的人) failed to salute me. I'm making his salute one hundred times as a punishment.”

　　"Quite right," replied the general smiling, "But do not forget, sir, that upon each occasion you are to salute return."

　　有个士兵没有注意到一个年轻的陆军中尉，没有向他敬礼。中尉很严厉地对那个士兵说：“你没有向我敬礼，因此你要马上敬100个礼。”

　　这时候将军过来了。他看到那个可怜的士兵就要开始敬礼时，就大声问道：“这是怎么啦?”

　　中尉解释说：“这个蠢货没有向我敬礼，我就罚他马上向我敬一百个礼。”

　　将军笑着说：“完全正确。不过，老弟，别忘了他向你每敬一个礼，你都要回礼的啊！”

英语小笑话爆笑带翻译 篇4

　　One day a man came home from work to find total chaos in the house. The kids were laying outside in the mud, still in their pajamas.

　　When he opened the door, he found an even bigger mess: dishes on the counter, dog food spilled on the floor, a broken glass under the table and a pile of sand by the back door. The family room was strewn with toys, and a lamp had been knocked over.

　　He headed up the stairs, stepping over toys, to look for his wife. He was becoming worried that she might be ill or that something terrible had happened to her.

　　He found her in the bedroom still in bed with her pajamas on, reading a magazine.

　　She looked up at him, smiled and asked how his day had gone.

　　He looked at her, bewildered(困惑的), and asked, "What happened here today?"

　　She again smiled and answered, "You know, every day, you come home from work and ask me what I did today."

　　"Yes," was his reply.

　　She answered, "Well, today, I didn't do it!"

　　一天，一个人下班回到家，发现屋子外面一片狼籍。孩子们还穿着睡衣，满身是泥地躺在外面。

　　打开房门，他发现屋子里面更乱。橱柜上堆着盘子，地上散落着狗食，桌子下面有一只打碎的玻璃杯，后门旁还有一堆沙子。家庭娱乐室里堆满了玩具，还有一盏灯翻倒在地上。

　　他迈过散落在楼梯上的玩具，上楼去找他的妻子。他开始担心她生病了或是发生了什么可怕的事情。

　　他发现她还穿着睡衣躺在床上，在看一本杂志。

　　她抬头看到他，笑着问他今天过得怎么样。

　　他看着她，困惑地问：“今天发生什么事情了?”

　　她笑着问道：“你每天下班回家都会问我今天做什么了。”

　　“没错啊，”他说。

　　她说：“是这样的，今天，我没做什么!”

英语小笑话爆笑带翻译 篇5

　　two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

　　兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

　　"look," said the elder brother. "how nice these paintings are!"

　　“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀!”

　　"yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. where is the father?"

　　“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢?”

　　the elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "obviously he was painting the pictures."

　　哥哥想了一会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”

英语小笑话爆笑带翻译 篇6

　　To Buy a Video 买录像机

　　Amos asked his mother whether they could have a video.

　　I’m afraid we can’t afford one, sighed his mother.

　　But on the following day in came Amos, staggering beneath the weight of a brand-new video.

　　How on earth did you pay for that? gasped his mother.

　　Easy, Mum. replied Amos, I sold the television!

　　艾莫斯问妈妈他们是否能买一台录像机。

　　恐怕我们还买不起，妈妈叹息着说。

　　可第二天当艾莫斯回来时，他摇摇晃晃地搬着一台全新的录像机。

　　你究竟是哪儿来的钱买这东西?妈妈大吃一惊，喘着气说。

　　妈妈，这简单， 艾曼斯回答。我把电视机给卖了！

英语小笑话爆笑带翻译 篇7

　　A Sunday school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. Now, children, said she, has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?

　　Please, teacher, said a small boy, I've made someone glad yesterday.

　　Well done. Who was that?

　　My granny.

　　Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.

　　Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, ‘Granny, I'm going home,’ and she said, ‘Well, I'm glad’!

　　一个主日学校的老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。现在，孩子们，她说：你们当中有谁让别人高兴过?

　　我，老师，一个小男孩说：昨天我就使别人高兴过。

　　做得好，是谁呢?

　　我奶奶。

　　好孩子，现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。

　　是这样的，老师。我昨天去看她，在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她说：‘啊，我很高兴!’

英语小笑话爆笑带翻译 篇8

　　A school report

　　学校成绩单

　　The father was reading the school report which had just been handed to him by his hopeful son. His brow was wrathful(愤怒的) as he read,

　　父亲在看他那满怀希望的儿子带回来的学校成绩单。他边看边露出愤怒的表情：

　　"English, poor. French, weak. mathematics, fair." and he gave a glance of disgust at the quaking lad(少年，小伙子).

　　“英语，差；法语，差；数学，中。”他厌恶地瞥了在发抖的儿子一眼。

　　"Well, Dad." said the son, "It is not as good as it might be, but have you seen that?" And he pointed to the next line which read, "health, excellent."

　　“爸爸，”儿子说，“可能成绩不够理想。但您看到那一项了吗?”他指了指下一行：“健康状况，优。”