爆侃英语笑话大全

　　最好玩的英语笑话，尽在笑话栏目，欢迎大家来看英语笑话。

　　送出去还有的东西

　　What can Santa give away and still keep?

　　Answer: a cold.

　　什么东西圣诞老人可以分送出去，自己却也还留着?

　　答案：感冒。

　　圣诞老人的爱好

　　What does Santa Claus like to do in his garden?

　　Answer: he likes to hoe, hoe, hoe.

　　圣诞老人喜欢在花园里做什么?

　　答案：锄地。(英文里Hoe 和ho同音。hoe是锄草之意，ho则是圣诞老人的笑声。)

　　铅笔

　　What do you do if one of Santa’s reindeer swallows your pencil?

　　Answer: use a pen.

　　若圣诞老人的驯鹿吃掉你的铅笔该怎么办?

　　答案：用原子笔

　　1000元的脑筋急转弯

　　On Christmas Eve Santa Claus met an honest politician and a kind lawyer while riding up in an elevator of a very exclusive hotel.

　　Just before the doors opened the three of them noticed a 1000NT bill lying on the floor. Which one of them do you think picked it up?

　　圣诞节前夕，圣诞老人和一清廉的政治人物，以及一心地善良的.律师在一家高级饭店一同等电梯，门还未开前，三人同时看到地上有一张新台币1000元的钞票，猜猜谁会将它捡起?

　　Answer: Santa of course! Why? Because everybody knows that the other two don’t exist!

　　答案：当然是圣诞老人啦!为什么?因为大家都知道另外两者并不存在。

　　奇怪的关系

　　Four best friends met at the hospital since their wives were giving births to their babies. The nurse comes up to the first man and says, "Congratulations, you got twins." The man said "How strange, I'm the manager of Minnesota Twins." After awhile the nurse comes up to the second man and says, "Congratulations, you got triplets." Man was like "Hmmm, strange I worked as a director for the "3 musketeers." Finally, the nurse comes up to the third man and says "Congratulations, you got twins x2." Man is happy and says, "Ironic, I work for the hotel "4 Seasons." All three of them are happy until they see their last buddy jumping all over the place, cursing God and banging his head on the wall. They asked him what's wrong and he answered, "What's wrong? I work for 7up"!

　　四个好朋友在医院里碰面了,他们的妻子正在生产.护士过来对第一个男人说:"恭喜,你得了双胞胎."男人说:"多奇怪呀,我是明尼苏达双子队的经理."过了一会儿,护士过来对第二个男人说:"恭喜,你得了三胞胎."男人很喜欢:"嗯,又巧了.我是3M公司的董事."最后,护士跑来对第三个男人说:"恭喜,你得了2对双胞胎."男人很开心地说:"真令人啼笑皆非,我为四季宾馆工作."他们三个都很高兴,但第四个伙伴急得像热锅上的蚂蚁,咒骂上帝并用头撞墙.他们问他有什么不对劲,他回答道:"什么不对劲?我可是在七喜公司工作呀!"

　　一分钟一百万

　　A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second."

　　一男子进入教堂和上帝对话.他问:"主啊, 一百万美元对你意味着多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又问:"那一百万年呢?"上帝说:"一秒钟."最后男子请求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士吗?"上帝回答:"过一秒钟."

　　妈妈在砸瓶子

　　A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her four-year-old daughter to answer the phone. The child said, "Mommy can't come to the phone right now. She's hitting the bottle."

　　一个妇人正在使劲打开番茄酱的瓶子。这时，电话铃响了，她叫四岁的女儿去接电话。小孩说：“妈妈现在不能接电话，她在砸瓶子。”