短英语笑话大全爆笑

　　笑话大多揭示生活中乖谬的现象，具有讽刺性和娱乐性。其趣味有高下之分。小编你挑选了短英语笑话大全爆笑，希望你会喜欢，一起来欢乐笑笑啊!

　　短英语笑话大全爆笑一：Bishop Creighton

　　克莱顿主教

　　Creighton was going along a West End square when he saw a little fellow trying to reach the knocker of a large house.

　　Can't you reach up so high? queried the Bishop kindly.

　　No, sir, said the small youngster.

　　Well, then, let me help you, and the Bishop mounted the three steps and gave a splendidrattat(砰砰声) .

　　The little boy glanced hastily(匆忙地) at the gentleman of the cloth. Come on, he yelled, we must both run.

　　当克莱顿主教沿着伦敦西区的一个广场走着的时候，他 看见一个小家伙正试图抓住一所大房子的门环。

　　你是不是够不到这么高的`地方呢?主教好意地问。

　　是的，先生。那小孩说。

　　那好，让我来帮你。主教登上那三级台阶，在门上重重扣了几下。

　　那个小男孩急忙给教士递上一个眼色。快跑，他喊着：我们俩都得跑。

　　短英语笑话大全爆笑二：Women's Bumper-Stickers

　　SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.

　　GOD MADE US SISTERS; PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.

　　IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.

　　MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.

　　PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES,

　　SEEKS FROG.

　　COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN...SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.

　　DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.

　　IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.

　　DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.

　　I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN-AND I HAVE A GUN.

　　GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO, BUT LIKE...WHO CARES?

　　NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.

　　WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

　　OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.

　　YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.

　　ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.

　　I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.

　　HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?

　　SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.

　　IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.

　　DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.Women's Bumper-Stickers

　　SO MANY MEN, SO FEW WHO CAN AFFORD ME.

　　GOD MADE US SISTERS; PROZAC MADE US FRIENDS.

　　IF THEY DON'T HAVE CHOCOLATE IN HEAVEN, I AIN'T GOING.

　　MY MOTHER IS A TRAVEL AGENT FOR GUILT TRIPS.

　　PRINCESS, HAVING HAD SUFFICIENT EXPERIENCE WITH PRINCES,

　　SEEKS FROG.

　　COFFEE, CHOCOLATE, MEN...SOME THINGS ARE JUST BETTER RICH.

　　DON'T TREAT ME ANY DIFFERENTLY THAN YOU WOULD THE QUEEN.

　　IF YOU WANT BREAKFAST IN BED, SLEEP IN THE KITCHEN.

　　DINNER IS READY WHEN THE SMOKE ALARM GOES OFF.

　　I'M OUT OF ESTROGEN-AND I HAVE A GUN.

　　GUYS HAVE FEELINGS TOO, BUT LIKE...WHO CARES?

　　NEXT MOOD SWING: 6 MINUTES.

　　WARNING: I HAVE AN ATTITUDE AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT.

　　OF COURSE I DON'T LOOK BUSY...I DID IT RIGHT THE FIRST TIME.

　　YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN SILENT, SO PLEASE SHUT UP.

　　ALL STRESSED OUT AND NO ONE TO CHOKE.

　　I'M ONE OF THOSE BAD THINGS THAT HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE.

　　HOW CAN I MISS YOU IF YOU WON'T GO AWAY?

　　SORRY IF I LOOKED INTERESTED. I'M NOT.

　　IF WE ARE WHAT WE EAT, I'M FAST, CHEAP AND EASY.

　　DON'T UPSET ME! I'M RUNNING OUT OF PLACES TO HIDE THE BODIES.

　　短英语笑话大全爆笑三：Logic Reasoning 逻辑推理

　　A fourth-grade teacher was giving her pupils a lesson on logic.

　　Here is the situation, she said. A man is standing up in a boat in the middle of a river, fishing. He loses his balance, falls in, and begins splashing and yelling for help.

　　His wife hears the commotion, knows that he can't swim, and runs down to the bank. Why do you think she ran to the bank?

　　A girl raised her hand and asked, to draw out all of his savings?

　　小学四年级的教师正在给学生们上一堂逻辑课。她举了这么一个例子：有这样一种情况，一个男人在河中心的船上钓鱼，突然失去重心掉进了水里。于是他开始挣扎并喊救命。

　　他的妻子听到了他的喊声，知道他并不会游泳，所以她就急忙跑向河岸。谁能告诉我这是为什么? 一个女生举手答道，是不是去取他的存款?

　　短英语笑话大全爆笑四：Goes to the cinema

　　A boy goes to the cinema. He buys a ticket and goes in. But after two or three minutes he comes out. He buys a second ticket and goes in again. After a few minutes he comes out again and buys a third ticket. Two or three minutes after that he comes out a third time and asks for another ticket. The ticket seller says to him, "Why are you buying all these? Are you meeting friends in the cinema all the time?" "No, I;m not doing that." The small man says, "But a big woman always stops me at the door and tears my tickets up."